Sexy and Rude Location Names

Do you want that perfect place name? The one place you just couldn’t make up?

Today I’m going to have a bit of fun and locate a few for you. It’s amazing how may there are. These are U.K. only places. I’ll cover other countries later.

Boggy Bottom is located in Hertfordshire and in 2015 came third in a poll of rude names.

Cornwall boasts the hamlet of Cocks. Admit it. If that was your address, could you keep a straight face if you told anyone?

Fanny hands lane, Lincolnshire. In 2018 this lane was listed 4th in a list of rude road names.

Oxfordshire proudly boasts a place my the name of Golden Balls. Come on, you me. You’d love to have a set.

Great Cockup and Little Cockup, are hills in the Lake District. Boys, which one will I find you up? And if you say little, our friendship might be over.

Norwich has a Hooker Road. That’s one I’m never moving to.

Meryside has a Slag Lane. I don’t think I want to know how that one came into being.

Scotland isn’t getting away with it, either. Aberdeenshire has Brokenwind. Dick court in Lanarkshire. East Breast, Inverclyde – I’m not asking what happened to the west one.

Wales has a few too. Bullyhole Bottom in Monmouthshire. Tarts Hill, Flintshire. And not forgetting Three Cocks, Breconshire.

What type of Romance to Write

Part 3 –

Erotic

A lot of readers place erotic and porn in the same class. It’s not.

Erotic books contain sex, yes of course they do. Won’t be erotic otherwise but they have a plot and story-line. Strong characters bring everything together. Porn only deals with the act itself. No one cares about the plot or the characters. They only look for one thing.

So, where to begin? Like any other story start with the plot or characters. I write dark romance, so my latest book maintains that but contains a BDSM element. (Fareious trilogy). However, you can write in any sub-genre. Then cover the sexual part. Do you want to go soft or hard – go with whatever you are happy with writing. Believe me, it’ll show if you aren’t comfy writing it and can make any great story poor.

Oh, and sex positions. Make sure they are possible. Nothing worse than reading a book and trying to figure out how they did it. Readers like their genre and erotic readers will know. And bye, bye readers.

Now, those sex scenes. Don’t be repetitive. Make them steamy and above all else, don’t head-hop. Stay with one POV. Readers will put the book away and not pick anymore of your’s up. Remember sex is different for everyone. In normal romances the sex can be steamy, but you want erotic. So, it needs to be much, much more steamy.

And also, it’s not all about love with erotica. It can just be about the raw sex. A couple who doesn’t want love, just to enjoy each others bodies. Now, it could turn to love, nothing to stop that happening but build up the tension. If it’s pure raw sex on one page, don’t make the next scene love. Add some grip to your story. Does the female want love but the man doesn’t? Are one of them being blackmailed to control the other? Oh, there are lots of ways this could go. Think outside of the box and surprise those readers.

Back to the characters. Develop them well. Make your readers love them and beg for them to get together. Don’t just get them in bed and then end the story. Readers like to feel part of the book. My Scottish stories are romance but not erotic but my readers have said they want to jump into the book, save the heroine and punch the baddie. That should be standard in any book.

The end. Now, it’s still a romance. Your readers want that happy ending. If you don’t give it, give a reason. Does the man being blackmailed decide he’s had enough and gets killed while saving his woman? Does the woman vanish in a cliffhanger ending – make sure you make it clear there’s a book two. Do they finally decide they really do love each other?

Now go and plot out your idea. Make it strong, believable and you might just get a best seller.

Pinterest

I’m going to let you know how I got that amount of unique visits, and no adverts.

I opened my Pinterest account years ago. It was a personal one and I rarely used it. Then earlier this year I upgraded to a business account. Again, I ignored it.

The last few months that has changed. I changed my boards. I keep the ones of my interests and set up ones for my books. One for each series. Added quotes and pictures of things which inspired me when writing the novels.

Then I added more boards. I write dark romance, so I added a wedding and special events board. As I’m branching into paranormal, I added a supernatural board. This is where I add the potential pictures which might influence me when I begin certain books. If they do, they’ll be moved to the accompanying board.

You see, it’s not just about what you are writing at the time. Any other author knows, ideas pop into your head at any point. We write them down, but words aren’t enough. Pictures help. So, I add to to the spare boards. Then, I can look back and go, yeah, that’s what I wanted.

Here’s an example. I have a novel planned where my female main character will be involved in a photo-shoot. I’m not giving out anymore details but the photos that I’m thinking off, are in the appropriate board. When I start that book, I’ll have the ideas waiting for me to refresh my memory.

Simple. Right?

But remember that boards just on your books and ideas will get boring. I do crafts, so there is a board to cover that. I enjoy reading and have a board of all the books I’ve read and given 5 stars to. I read too many to post them all – just go to my Goodreads page to see the rest. I enjoy walking and wildlife – add in a wildlife and landscape board. I love, keep and breed rabbits – guess what – there’s a board. Anyone who visits my area, will learn a lot about me and I add in my own photo’s too.

I now get several pins saved everyday. My followers might not change too much, but my monthly figures are shooting up. 4k in one day. And not a penny spent.

Just remember to post new pins on a regular basis. Static boards get boring. I’m trying to post a few every day – but some days just don’t happen. Yes, it’s more work, writing the book is the easy bit, marketing and getting your brand out there is just plan awful. Lucky for me, I know a man who can help, but even then it’s still down to you to make the effort. Even paying someone, you need to do some work yourself. It’s your book. No one knows it as well as you.

So, now go out there and build your brand. Not your book.

Now, if only I can manage Facebook as well. Twitter is going better. But remember – no spamming book links. That will get your followers unfollowing. Interaction is the key.

And if you want to look me up – here I am.

What Type of Romance to write

Part Two

Wedding, Couple, Love, Wedding Couple

Contemporary Romance

This might be one of the more natural romances to write. The setting is in the modern-day. No thinking of having to world build, or get any historical facts right. If you set the story in an area you know, then you’ll be on roll.

Your characters will be people that you might come across in real life. Research can come just by you sitting and watching the world go by. The way people interact and talk. Cary that notepad with you at all times. The number of times I’ve picked up things at railways stations or bus stops is unbelievable.

Plot – again the modern-day makes it easy. Read the newspapers and watch the news. If celebrities are proposing – how are they doing it? Have you been invited to weddings recently? Same-sex marriages are no legal, so no need for any gays to hid in the dark. They can now show their feelings. Social media makes it easier for people to stay in touch, arrange things. Make the most of it. When I’m at events, my phone isn’t being used to check Facebook. No, I’m making notes.

The end – Now, these type of books always have an happy ending. Make a hash of that, and bye-bye readers.

One quick mention of the dreaded sex scenes. Contemporary romances can have all the sex you want. But most are clean or have less detailed scenes. Too many and you head in the erotic area. Don’t overdo them. One decent scene will be enough.

What type of romance to write.

Part One

Fantasy, Lake, House, Dance, Water, Sun

So, you want to write a romance, but what type are you interested in? I’m doing this in several parts as there are many types to cover.

Fantasy and Paranormal

I’ve added these two together as they can be closely related. They tend to have some sort of fancy element. This can be anything from vampires and shifters to angels and witches. Unicorns, stories based around fairy-tales or myths. It’s an endless supply.

These types of books can be set in the modern world, historical or even on a different plant. Whatever you decide you must world-build before even considering writing anything. You want the world to be believable. I’m planning two paranormal series which I hope to begin writing next year. At the moment, I’m world-building. I’m getting the main details sorted well in advance. If you don’t, you’ll not have a reference point to refer back too. Remember those readers? They’ll be spotting any problems.

Next, consider your characters. Clothes must match the mood. If they have powers, what are they? Weak points too. No one is perfect.

The layout of the ground. Social interaction – it all needs to be covered. The types of technology, the history the of place. Hierarchy. It’s your world do what you want but pass the info onto your readers. If to confusing they’ll close the book. Intrigue them. But, don’t overload them in one big go. Spread it out and bring the info in as needed.

Explain the species you have imagined. The flora and fauna. Give your readers an idea of the world but hold back and let their own imagination take hold. What do your characters want? Is there a back story? If you add a war, mention how it started. Why? Are your main characters the good guys from the start or will they grow into the role? It all needs to be covered.

And if you are still unsure – go and read a few romance fantasies. Learn how other authors branch into the subject. It’s a big area, one you need to know inside out.